Guilt
by Iceinherheart
Summary: Beverly's overcome with so many emotions at Tasha's current condition that she turns to her Captain to sort them out...


"She'll be fine Beverly. She's got the best doctor in the Galaxy. You're being irrational."

"I'm not being irrational Jean-Luc. I'm being totally rational. She nearly died."

Beverly's seat had a perfect view of Tasha's medical bed but she refused to look towards her. Or at Captain Picard - Jean-Luc to her. She simply stared at the wall.

"I know that, Beverly. She's alive because of you." he rested a hand gently on her shoulder.

"No Jean-Luc, she's alive because of Data." Beverly finally glanced at the android loitering in the corner who refused to leave until the chief of security regained consciousness; Beverly had reminded herself to ask Tasha about that when she woke, purely out of medical interest, of course. If she woke up.

If he been anyone else Beverly knew she'd of refused. But he was Data; he didn't need to rest, he kept the medical staff entertained and he was useful for diagnosing illnesses. He was stubborn too. He had his positronic brain set on being in sick bay when Tasha woke up and there would be no persuading him away from that.

"Well, I suppose so. Data did have a large part to play in Tasha's rescue, yes, but would Data have been able to heal her? That was you Beverly. You saved her."

Beverly huffed out her breath.

"No Jean-Luc," she told him slowly "It nearly killed her... And I was so relieved."

She risked a small glance at him and watched his eyebrows rise drastically.

"Pardon?" His voice was soft - not angry or disappointed, just confused and comforting.

"She was this close to death when we got to her Jean-Luc, _this_ close -" she held up her finger and thumb with only a fraction of a gap between them. "- to being gone. But it felt like it was so much closer to being Wez."

She clamped her hands together, her fingers twisting into each other painfully. "It was only because Tasha pushed him away that the _beam_ didn't touch him; and I was so relieved that it was her and not him, for that single second Jean-Luc, I was happy.

"But that scream. Dear lord, her scream, it won't stop echoing. It's still ringing in my head and it won't stop. I can still hear it now. It goes round and round and it _hurts_. So much."

He nodded, stroking the hand on her shoulder down her arm in comfort. He'd been there, they'd all been there, and no-one had failed to react to Tasha's heart-stopping scream - not even Data. But it wouldn't leave Beverly alone.

"Don't remind me." Picard grunted, low-voiced and sheet white. There was something there between him and the security chief; it'd been there since _before_ Tasha has accidentally/playfully called him 'Dad'. Beverly had never seen either of them blush so much.

"But I was so glad that it hit her. Our Tasha. To save my son! What sort of person does that make me?"

She cast a wary glance at Data who was, without a doubt, listening to their conversation. Or perhaps he was to busy with his android version of worrying about his blonde friend - or perhaps both.

She listened to her Captain chuckle with a frown.

"It makes you a mother, Beverly." he told her, softly pushing her hair out her face - which wasn't exactly something he did very often. "And a good one at that."

Beverly smiled at him before risking a glance at her patient. She was pale, he hair matted and her uniform was all but destroyed. Ripped in several places (the sleeve, her hip and her leg) and the zip was mangled beyond repair, making it almost impossible to remove. Yet no-one had the heart to change her; Tasha without her uniform wasn't Tasha at all.

"And don't you worry about our Natasha," he said, following her gaze. "She's a strong one."

"Don't call her that!" Beverly gave a small laugh, and when she twisted her neck to look at him she saw the satisfied smirk on his face: he'd planned this conversation, _to cheer her up_. "She'll have your head!"

"If she did that she'd be court-martialed. Now does that sound like our Tasha to you?"

Beverly smiled at him, more amused than cross at his use of Tasha's birth name. It was a rule with Tasha: 'Do Not Use the Name Natasha In front Of Me!' Data had referred to it once and Tasha had ended up in sick-bay with a broken hand. No-one had tried to punch Data since.

The grown stirred her from her thoughts. She pulled her eyes away from the captivating gaze of her captain to watch the small wiggle in Tasha's closest hand; Data was beside her now, not in the corner where he had been half a blink ago. Beverly shot from her chair to her friend's side - Picard moving slower behind her, walking.

Blue eyes flicked open.

"Ow!" Tasha's voice was raspy, like sandpaper in her throat, as she raised one hand to her neck and Beverly was surprised to realize that she was totally _un-surprised_ that the other hand was entwined with Data's.

"Tasha!" Beverly sighed in relief, feeling rather than seeing Picard at her side. _Tasha was fine_.

"What happened?" Tasha croaked, glancing from her CMO, to her Captain, to her... Lord knows what Data was to her. Her eyes locked with Beverly's again.

"Remember the alien _thing _that possessed Will? It shot you." Beverly deadpanned, to relieved to go in to closer detail. Tasha raised her head, both blue eyes cloudy and confused, and looked at Data.

"We proved unable to identify the being that possessed Commander Riker. We where only able to determine that it was not something we have discovered before and that it uses phaser technology that is far more advanced than our own." He told her.

"So this was my fault." Tasha huffed her eyebrows pulling together. "'Chief of security locked up in sick bay because of the lack of security.' Great news to pass thought the ship."

"Tasha." The captain's loud, unhappy voice barked at her and Beverly twisted to look at him. "None of this was your fault, Lieutenant and I would thank you to realize the fact. No amount of security officers could have prevented this. And I'm sure Wesley would agree."

Tasha pushed at her bed with weak arms and, with a huff, she gave up and flopped the few inches she'd pushed away from the bed. Beverly nodded in agreement at the silent question in Data's gaze and his thin, strong arms pulled at her shoulders until she was sat upright. He's pale hands stayed on her back to steady her.

"Wesley?" she asked.

"Wesley Crusher is absolutely fine," Picard cut over Beverly before as she had the chance to open her mouth to answer. "Fine and very anxious to check up on the woman who saved his life" Tasha glanced down at her hands in her lap, her cheeks red "As is all the Bridge team" Picard continued "Not all of them are as stubborn as Data, apparently."

"Not yet." Tasha mumbled and Beverly strained her ears to hear. "I'm not ready to see them." She looked up at Beverly, her blue eye damp. "And tell Wesley… Tell Wez I'm no hero, yeah? And I never will be."

"There are many people who idolize you on the Enterprise, Tasha." Data said from her side, his hands still on her back "For many reasons. You could certainly be a 'hero' to the younger generations, especially to the few who acknowledge the way you spent your childhood."

"But that's not a hero" Tasha snapped at him, shrugging his hands off her. "A hero's-"

"'A Person of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his/her brave deeds and noble qualities.'" Data resisted perfectly "Or perhaps: 'A person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal.' There are several different definitions of the word, from several sources and 43% of the definitions are appropriate to your situation, Tasha."

"Not to me" She told him swiftly, her eyes downcast. "I'm not-"

"Yes, you are." Beverly cut her off loudly and half of the medical staff turned to look at her. "Tasha." She continued in a lower voice, ignoring the stairs of her staff, the quizzical gaze of her captain and the neutral look Data gave everyone. She focused fully on the scared young woman in front of her, sitting down beside her on her bed. "You _are_ a hero, even if you won't admit it. You're Wez's hero, If not because you saved his life then because you have the job he wants more than anything. Well," She paused momentarily, as if she was thinking, nudging Tasha gently in the ribs on her good side "Perhaps not in security, I don't think he enjoys being attacked quite as much as you do." Tasha let out a small giggle and shook her head softly, her hair falling in her face. Nobody bothered to move it.

"But to be honest, Tasha," Beverly continued softly "I'd say you're _my _hero at the moment." Tasha rose an eyebrow at her in obvious surprise. She clearly hadn't been expecting that.  
"Oh, don't look so surprised, you saved my son's life. I'm allowed to think highly of you at the minuet. And if I ever, _ever_ hear of you talking about yourself in such a degrading way again, I swear on the Enterprise the next time you come in for inoculations I will refuse to use a hypo-spray, you aichmophobic!"

Tasha mock gasped in horror "You wouldn't!"

"Oh I would." Beverly laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "But only 'cause I love you."

"Doctor," Data called softly, his head tilted in confusion. "I believe that threatening a patient is against regulation-" Tasha cut him of by covering is mouth with her hand. Picard raised his eyebrow at the bold move.

"Shut up, Data." She told him. He nodded in affirmative.

"Well, as much as I hate to break up this tender moment, I believe I must return to the Bridge" Picard told them, straightening his slightly slouched back. "I shall tell them of your wishes to be left alone Lieutenant." He glanced at Beverly and Data in turn, offering them a "Commander" or "Doctor" respectively before turning to leave. It was only once the automatic doors opened that he turned to look back.

"I wish you a swift recovery, Natasha." He told her "The Bridge will not be the same until you return."

And then he was gone.

"Thank you Beverly." Tasha whispered, her eyes not moving from the doors. Beverly tilted her head in confusion in a perfect imitation of her favourite android.

"For what?" She asked.

"For everything." Tasha told her, moving her eyes to hers. Beverly nodded, before a wicked grin tugged at the tips of the blonds lips "And for the painkillers I know you're about to go get for me."

Beverly smiled at her. "Cheeky devil!" She exclaimed but she stood anyway and walked towards the cabinet containing said painkillers.

"You love me anyway." Tasha called after her.

Beverly turned back to watch the security chief lay back against the bed with only the tiniest interference from Data. She smiled to herself. Tasha would be fine, and if she ever decided to tell her of the emotions she had felt after her attack, she knew Tasha would forgive her.  
Because that was what family did.

"Yes." Beverly muttered, half to Tasha, half to herself "I do. But who wouldn't."

She was Tasha. Her friend. Her family.  
Life wouldn't be the same without her.


End file.
